Sunday Brunch - 12/15/13

This week, we’re talking about weird family traditions, and I can’t help making a joke about heading down the Lane, or the Lain, as it were because today my guests are none other than Amy Lane and Tara Lain, and they’re here to talk about the weird and wonderful things we call family traditions.

Last week’s winner? Fay!!!

This week my guests will share their answers with us, and you, gentle readers, can give your answer to my question in the comment section below. I’ll choose one random person from the comments and reward them with an ebook surprise, it’s that simple!

Tell me what your answer to today’s question would be in the comments, and you could win an e-book!

This weeks question is:

What is your weirdest family tradition?

What is your Weirdest Family Tradition?

I was an Army brat growing up all over the world. We seldom stayed in one place long. The things that most people consider traditional — events with extended family, neighborhood get-togethers — weren’t true for us or people like us because we moved all the time.

I think that’s why my nuclear family had a lot of traditions — things that gave some order and meaning to a very disordered life.

My father spent hours creating Easter egg masterpieces, my mother decorated windows for Christmas that would have put Michelangelo to shame.

Food played a key role in many holidays. For Christmas eve, my mother made an elaborate display of what she called antipasto — a buffet of mostly cold dishes that people could snack on all evening and into the next day. And Thanksgiving? Do you know anyone else whose turkey dinner included sauerkraut and cold canned asparagus! Yep.For some reason, my father discovered that the sour taste of sauerkraut was a perfect complement to the often sweet tastes that star in a turkey dinner like yams, cranberry sauce, even the turkey is a sweetish meat.

To this day, I miss the sauerkraut on my turkey dinner. But I must confess that fresh, steamed asparagus now has more appeal than the cold squishy stuff in a can. Still, I honor it for the weird family tradition it was. — Author Tara Lain

Purchase Mistletowed at  Amazon   

My weirdest family tradition?

 

My daughter says it’s German cabbage.  

 

You know, purple cabbage, bacon, brown sugar and vinegar?  

 

I think she’s crazy– how can you not love German cabbage?  I’ll move on to another tradition. editor’s note: I know, right?

 

How about hanging the star from the ceiling instead of putting it on the tree?  Except we couldn’t find any good stars to hang from the ceiling after our last one sort of disintegrated so we have a light up star instead– but we do have a perpetual valentines day heart hanging from our ceiling, and the heart and the star sort of hang up there in the heavens and visit, so, no, that doesn’t count.

 

Maybe it’s mom’s crafting spree?  Could that be it?  Every Christmas I’m making something to deadline?  And I’m staying up until goddess knows when trying to get it finished?  Oh wait– does everyone do that?  Rats.

 

OH, I know!  

 

Our best and weirdest family tradition– besides rats as pets for our children– is the way we try to out-do each other scaring off the missionaries that come to our door.

 

I’ve been known to tell them that we’re so pagan any bible that passed our threshold would burst into flames.

 

Mate once told a group that we were heathens.  When I explained to him that being a heathen wasn’t a religion, it was just the word we used for our kids running around in their underwear, he shrugged and said, “Well, anyway, the church people left.”  

 

Today was one of the best though. Today was a lovely sleep-in day, and they knocked at 10:30 a.m..  Mate answered the door in his pajamas with his hair rumpled and his eyes still all sleepy and said, “I’m sorry.  We’re busy.”  

 

And then shut the door.  

 

Chicken, my college-age student, has taken this tradition and run with it.  

 

“Here, would you like to read a scripture?”

 

“No thanks.  I’m good.”

 

“Would you like an anti-masturbatory pamphlet?”  (Swear to Goddess, this happened.)

 

“No, not really.”

 

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like to read the bible with us?”

 

“No, that’s okay.  I went to a fundamentalist Christian Academy.  I’ve read it plenty.  Have a nice day!”

 

I told her we’d work on her technique the next time someone came at her with an anti-masturbatory pamphlet, but so far, she’s carrying the family torch in grand style.  Author — Amy Lane

Going Up by Amy Lane is available for Pre-Order from Dreamspinner Press

 

 

 

Sunday Brunch - 12/15/13